The Journey

We all have our 'things.' Our 'things' in life that require us to dig deeper for more courage, more strength and more faith. Mine is my battle with RA and Fibro and all that comes with it. It's a daily struggle. Most of us have a daily struggle with something. No matter how big or small our 'thing' is, it's there, it's real, and it is there for us to learn and grow.

 

I frequently throughout the years, and sometimes each day, wonder why I have to have this 'thing'! Why did I need to be sick? Why me? I had plans, I have a life - I didn't have time for being sick - not an illness that attacked my hands, my hands were my life, my career, my hobby - I am an artist!! I didn't care for being given an illness that took my ability to do the simplest things like washing my daughters hair, cooking dinner, brushing my own teeth, hiking with my family, biking, gardening (I could go on - you get the picture). I did not ask for or at the time need an illness that made simply getting out of bed in the morning a difficult task, let alone other things. I didn't need to have my muscle atrophy and my joints attacked and destroyed. This is not what I needed, nor did my family - my kids, husband, or parents - all the people who's lives have changed because of my need for their help and their love and support in the good and bad moments...and not just for a few days, weeks, or months, but for the rest of my life. However, this is what the Universe, or whichever higher power you believe in, gave to me. This is what I needed. And that is a very difficult reality to accept and remember, as I fight to keep my body and my abilities.

 

I've grown, as I will continue to do as I live this life of being sick. The people that are in my life will grow as well. My kids have a level of compassion and awareness of disability they'd not know if it weren't for this journey of mine. We've all learned patience and the self less acts of the people that take care of me when I need it are angels in my life.

 

 

For the people who have stayed in my life, I am grateful. I have read many accounts of people living with chronic illness becoming isolated, and medical informational pages that talk about the social side of what we deal with - it being a loss of people, some solitude. And for the people that can be a friend or a person for me, even when I'm not able to be the life of the party - or party at all, when I need to cancel plans last minute because I'm exhausted, or like now, I up and disappear to get a knee replacement, I am grateful. I appreciate the people that have stayed in my life, and I appreciate the people I've had in my life in the past, you all leave a foot print on my heart as our paths crossed on this journey - as you've all had a place in my life.

 

As I reflect on 'My Thing', I see that even though I wish I didn't have to live with RA and Fibro, I'm grateful for it and for the growth it's brought to me . It takes courage, strength and faith to continue down the road with your thing. We are all better people for embracing what we are given in our lives, for what our thing is and where it takes us on this journey of life!